Am I Overreacting? Underreacting?

My highschool friends surprised me with a thoughtful letter and generous gift card, “in gratitude for [my] selfless, tireless service of Philadelphia’s most in-need populations at this time of immense uncertainty and fear.” It was perfectly timed after a long, stressful shift and made me breathe a little easier that night, remembering people are looking out for me. It provided the slightest bridge between my indescribable, unique role during this pandemic and those on the outside who are able to at least acknowledge it. Yet I still haven’t cashed the money because I can’t help but feel I don’t deserve it. I am still getting paid to do the same job I signed up to do, and, while the policies and dialogue are ever changing, the day-to-day hasn’t shifted that dramatically. Yet. I frequently oscillate between thinking I’m over- and under-reacting. Never quite comfortable with being somewhere in the middle. Never quite sure how to process any of this.